When we talk about “losing the dressing room,” our minds often jump to sports coaches who have lost the trust of their teams. But this isn’t just a problem in athletics; it’s something that can happen to anyone in a position of influence. Leaders in business, politics, and even community groups can all find themselves in a situation where trust is slipping away.

Why Do Leaders Lose the Dressing Room?

There are countless reasons, but if you dig deep enough, it all comes down to emotional intelligence (EQ). Unlike IQ, which remains relatively fixed, EQ is fluid—constantly influencing us, shaped by our experiences and habits, much like an app running in the background of our minds.

Neuroscience tells us that trust doesn’t erode overnight. Instead, it fades gradually—like a dripping tap. Small micro-behaviours such as inconsistency, dismissing concerns, or failing to listen all contribute to filling a ‘trust tank.’ At first, these moments seem insignificant, but over time, they accumulate until trust overflows—and spills.

Unfortunately, most leaders don’t even realize it’s happening. Not because they are bad people, but because of how the brain works. It’s why understanding EQ is critical in leadership—you cannot rely on your brain as much as you’d like to believe. Plus, the higher you rise in an organization, the more visible your actions become, and the greater the impact of even small lapses in EQ.

Why Feedback is Everything

Regardless of how justified you feel in your actions, what truly matters is how others perceive them. That’s why actively seeking feedback is essential. One of the most vital aspects of leadership is achieving collective goals while maintaining the trust of those around you. If you don’t create space for honest input, you won’t know where trust is slipping until it’s too late.

Losing trust isn’t the end of the road. I’ve witnessed remarkable comebacks from leaders who were willing to take accountability and repair relationships. Here’s how one leader I worked with managed to regain their team’s trust:

1. Honesty – Acknowledge where things went wrong. Ignoring the issue won’t make it disappear.

2. Precision – Be specific about what needs to change—vague promises are meaningless.

3. Radical Accountability – Own your mistakes fully, without making excuses.

4. Predictability – Consistency is key; people need to know what to expect from you.

Leadership is all about trust. And trust is built—or broken—in the smallest moments. If you want an example of trust-centered leadership, look no further than Ted Lasso. His ability to lead with authenticity, empathy, and unwavering support is a masterclass in high-EQ leadership.

So, if you feel like you’re losing your dressing room, take a step back. Check your EQ. Listen to feedback. Trust is hard to build but easy to lose—make sure you’re investing in it every single day.

Ready to Strengthen Your Leadership?

If you want to develop your emotional intelligence and build stronger trust with your team, I can help. Let’s work together to enhance your leadership impact. Reach out today to start your journey towards higher EQ and lasting trust.